I've been there. Standing in front of my team at all-hands, smile plastered on, vision deck loaded up, talking about "short-term headwinds" and "long-term opportunity."
Meanwhile, revenue had flatlined. Churn was creeping up. We'd missed our numbers three quarters in a row.
And I was quietly running a dual-track acquisition process, taking calls with bankers, and waking up at 3am wondering where everything was heading.
As founder, you're the emotional thermostat of the company. And sometimes that means putting on a mask, even around people you trust. Because doubt is contagious. And panic spreads fast.
But here's what I learned the hard way.
Employees Are Smarter Than We Give Them Credit For
Your team can tell when something's off.
They read the silence in Slack. They notice when you dodge questions. They see who's quitting and what's not being said.
The moment you start managing perception instead of building trust, you've already lost some of it.
I thought I was protecting my team by hiding the reality. I thought I was being a strong leader by projecting confidence when I felt none.
What I was actually doing was insulting their intelligence and creating a culture where problems couldn't be discussed until they became crises.
The Hardest Part Wasn't the Numbers
The hardest part as a founder wasn't fundraising or firing. It was pretending everything was fine when it wasn't.
When you're struggling and you hide it, you're alone with it. Every day feels like you're swimming harder just to stay in place. And your team? They're working hard too, but they don't understand why nothing seems to be moving forward.
They start to wonder if it's them. If they're not good enough. If the strategy is flawed. If leadership knows what they're doing.
And the worst part? They're right to wonder. Because you're not giving them the information they need to understand what's really happening.
What Real Leadership Looks Like
The best leaders I've worked with didn't hide reality. They shared it early, framed it honestly, and gave people a reason to still believe.
You can say: "This is going to be hard. We don't have all the answers. But here's what we know, what we're doing, and why this is still worth it."
That's not weakness. That's real leadership.
When I finally started being honest with my team about where we were, something surprising happened. Instead of panic, I got partnership.
People started coming to me with ideas. With observations. With offers to help that went beyond their job descriptions. Because they finally understood what we were actually fighting for.
The Trust Equation
Trust isn't built by always having good news. Trust is built by being consistently honest, especially when the news is bad.
When you share the hard stuff, you give your team three critical things:
Context: They understand why certain decisions are being made.
Agency: They can make better decisions in their own work because they understand the bigger picture.
Dignity: You're treating them like adults who can handle reality, not children who need to be protected from it.
And when the good news finally comes? They'll believe it. Because they know you don't sugarcoat.
Your Team Deserves Nothing Less
Look, I get it. As a founder or leader, you feel this massive pressure to have all the answers. To project confidence. To be the steady hand on the wheel.
But your team doesn't need you to pretend everything's fine. They need you to be real with them.
They need you to say when things are hard. To admit when you don't know. To share both the struggle and the plan to get through it.
Because the alternative—the mask, the managed perception, the carefully crafted narrative that doesn't match reality—that's what kills companies.
Not the actual problems. The pretending.
The Bottom Line
If I could go back and tell myself one thing during those dark quarters, it would be this: Stop managing perception. Start building trust.
Your team is smart. They can handle the truth. What they can't handle is being kept in the dark while they watch the ship take on water.
Be honest. Be early. Give them the bad news along with the plan and the reason to believe.
That's not weakness. That's the kind of leadership that builds companies that last.
